Choice

A few days ago I had a conversation with a friend that turned into a rather fierce argument which never reached a conclusion. I was telling him that there is something wrong about entertainment being mostly gender stereotypical and heteronormative.

Let me explain that a bit. By "gender stereotype", I mean a depiction of men and women the way they are socially expected to be. And by "gender", I don't mean "sex". Sex is biological, determined by birth. Gender is behavioural, taught to us by society. For example, my sex is female and hence I have two X chromosomes and that is a fact. My gender is woman and hence I am expected to wear certain kinds of clothes and not certain others. The latter is an expectation that has very little to do with my sex.(If you have any doubts, I'd suggest reading about our rich human history where there are plenty of examples of societies that preferred unisex clothes). There are plenty of theories about why gender exists. Among feminists, it is widely believed that gender stereotyping is a powerful tool of the patriarchy constructed and wielded to ensure the subjugation of women. I definitely agree that at the present time, gender stereotyping is one of the biggest means of ensuring that a dichotomy exists. That way, the minute women talk about achieving equality, a counter argument is given, "But women can't be equal to men! You see, they are innately different.(They are innately more drawn towards taking care of the family and less towards a career!)" I also believe that the moment the dichotomy vanishes and we aren't men and women, but just people at different points on a wide spectrum, the gender hierarchy will collapse. There will exist no one gender that can be identified as the oppressors or the oppressed.Though there may still be other types of oppression, at least the oldest living one will vanish! But I am not sure that the reason for the origin of gender was to subjugate women. It may have stemmed from the kind of work specialization that existed among our ancestors to ensure their survival, something I don't think we need to worry about right now!!

As for "heteronormative", I think its self explanatory. It is the assumption that all men are attracted to only women and all women are attracted to only men. Even if there are references to homosexuality in the mainstream media, it either involves stereotypes about homosexuals(all gay men are "feminine" or all gay women are "manly") or is merely used for comic effect. Either way, it does a grave injustice to homosexuality.

Well, my friend argued that the mainstream media only depicts what the majority of people can relate to. He believes that both non-gender stereotypical people and homosexuals are minorities at best and aberrations at worst. He makes two assumptions here that are highly questionable. Firstly, he assumes that people who are gender stereotypical and heteronormative are the majority. Homosexuality may not be as common as heterosexuality, but it is definitely not an insignificant number. As for gender stereotypes, they get a lot more emphasis than they deserve. For most people, it is a matter of what is most convenient. Falling into a stereotype is easy, being an "aberration" is far more difficult, especially if one is labeled that way! There are several bloggers who have written more eloquently on this subject, so I shall refrain from doing this topic an injustice by trying to explain further! Secondly, he assumes that the interaction between people and media is merely one way, that the mainstream media merely depicts what the majority of people want. He blithely assumes that the depictions in no way reinforce these stereotypes. In fact, his first assumption stems from the second. Without any numbers of facts, people like him look at what's shown to them and believe that that must be the majority behaviour, no questions asked!

Lets say for a minute that both his assumptions are correct. Lets assume that the two groups he mentions are indeed very small in number. So what? Shouldn't all of us have the right to live our life the way we want and make the choices that we want without some arrogant idiot coming along and telling us we are "aberrations"? Stereotypes don't exist in vacuum. The minute you say that the majority's choice is the only choice that matters, you kill everything that is making this world progress. What makes us progress and do things never thought possible is our diversity. That is in fact the basis for evolution itself! The only difference is that with human beings, diversity is not determined by our genes alone, it is determined by the choices we make. By saying that anything mainstream has to cater to only the majority, you do two things. One, you make sure that the majority remains intolerant of other lifestyles and choices. Two, you make life far more difficult for someone who wants to be different. The former contributing significantly to the latter!

Half the world's problems stem from the fact that we can't tolerate differences. The best that people achieve is resigned co-existence like what we have in India! Yes, we will be friendly with people from different backgrounds, but there will be absolutely no intermingling(and by that I mean marriage)! Well, as I always say, I have hope for the future. Perhaps not everyone is as close minded and ignorant as my friend!