International women's day
If there is one topic on which I wholeheartedly take the same side as that of the MRAs (Men's Rights Activists), it is the question of an international's women's day. My reasons may differ from their, but I dislike it.
So there I was, sitting at my desk, happily solving a knotty problem and feeling very pleased with myself, something that I often do only on Fridays, when I was rudely interrupted by Outlook's reminder telling me that I was invited for a lunch with the big wigs on International women's day. What's more, all homo sapiens who, through no fault of their own, were cursed with an above average dose of the dreaded x chromosome were also invited to this lunch. As I saw my manager purposely walking to my desk, I pondered several options to avoid this much advertised event. I knew he would give me the "Oh this is a great opportunity to network" speech. The closer he came, the faster I scrambled for excuses. I could feign a project emergency involving angry customers, or maybe a personal disaster involving a locked door and a spouse without a key. I was desperate enough to consider reporting a "Health and Safety" concern about the malfunctioning tea dispenser in the pantry that sprayed scalding liquid on unsuspecting employees. I hesitated a moment too long and there he was at my desk smiling and wishing me a happy women's day. I resigned myself to my fate, there was no escaping this blasted lunch.
It was one those innumerable hotels in this part of town that features a standard buffet lunch, designed to cater to the amorphous group of professionals with low expectations. I have a strong suspicion that while the hotels may have different names, they source their food from the same kitchen. How else can one explain the near identical menus in all 15 hotels in a 5 km radius? By the time we reached the hotel, I was starving. So much so that, even the thought of the bland and painfully monotonous menu that I had eaten 117 times before, did not deter my eagerness to get to it. So, imagine my disappointment when I realized that we had to first sit down at round tables (don't get me started about round tables!) and listen to all the head honchos drone on about the "importance of diversity" and the "need for more women" in the organization. I was busy playing International Women's day leadership speech bingo. I had already ticked off the first two and was wondering if my luck had run out this time, when I got the third hit with "great women in my life who influenced me" bit. No one seemed to think that it was odd that all the people who spoke were men. Or that it sounded oddly patronizing to hear a bunch of men tell a room full of women that they contribute to the diversity of the organization just by being women. Anyway, the bingo ended. I mean the speeches ended and we were allowed to go eat.
Conversation at the round tables revolved around varied topics. Some women complained that none of their family members had remembered women's day. I winced because if it hadn't been for the outlook reminder, I wouldn't have remembered either. Some other women made the rather astute observation that a "father-daughter" relationship is very special. I winced again because until that moment I had considered all the relationships with my family members very special. Some men gave emotional accounts of how their daughters had changed their perspectives. I winced for the third time because I realized that perhaps the only way to get men to treat women as human beings was to force a daughter on them. By the time the conversation reached the hypothesis that women were not role models for daughters anymore because they don't stay at home and take care of their children like the women of yore, I had had enough and wandered off in search of dessert. My facial muscles were starting to twitch and ache with all the wincing I was doing. By the way, dessert wasn't anything to write home about either. So all in all, a disappointing end to a disappointing afternoon. To top it off, I had eaten too much, in keeping with what is expected of one in a buffet, and it made me sleepy and cranky.
On a serious note, I understand and agree with the spirit of the whole thing. It is an attempt by the international community to recognize women as a largely oppressed and marginalized group and to give legitimacy to the ongoing struggle to end discrimination and violence against women. Either that or just an attempt by the Hallmarks and Archies of the world to sell unwanted stuff to otherwise unwilling people. But for me, this day has come to resemble a constant reminder that even in my place of work, I am first a woman and then an employee. I strive very hard, day after day to make sure that my gender plays no role in my work and my interaction with colleagues. I persevere against gargantuan odds to be treated the same way as my male colleagues, no exceptions, no special considerations and no biases or prejudices. And this one day shatters all of my efforts. I come back from lunch only to be met with sniggers and snide comments about the unfairness of this day and the need for a "men's day" to even things out. My repartee of how everyday is in fact "men's day" felt inadequate somehow.
So there I was, sitting at my desk, happily solving a knotty problem and feeling very pleased with myself, something that I often do only on Fridays, when I was rudely interrupted by Outlook's reminder telling me that I was invited for a lunch with the big wigs on International women's day. What's more, all homo sapiens who, through no fault of their own, were cursed with an above average dose of the dreaded x chromosome were also invited to this lunch. As I saw my manager purposely walking to my desk, I pondered several options to avoid this much advertised event. I knew he would give me the "Oh this is a great opportunity to network" speech. The closer he came, the faster I scrambled for excuses. I could feign a project emergency involving angry customers, or maybe a personal disaster involving a locked door and a spouse without a key. I was desperate enough to consider reporting a "Health and Safety" concern about the malfunctioning tea dispenser in the pantry that sprayed scalding liquid on unsuspecting employees. I hesitated a moment too long and there he was at my desk smiling and wishing me a happy women's day. I resigned myself to my fate, there was no escaping this blasted lunch.
It was one those innumerable hotels in this part of town that features a standard buffet lunch, designed to cater to the amorphous group of professionals with low expectations. I have a strong suspicion that while the hotels may have different names, they source their food from the same kitchen. How else can one explain the near identical menus in all 15 hotels in a 5 km radius? By the time we reached the hotel, I was starving. So much so that, even the thought of the bland and painfully monotonous menu that I had eaten 117 times before, did not deter my eagerness to get to it. So, imagine my disappointment when I realized that we had to first sit down at round tables (don't get me started about round tables!) and listen to all the head honchos drone on about the "importance of diversity" and the "need for more women" in the organization. I was busy playing International Women's day leadership speech bingo. I had already ticked off the first two and was wondering if my luck had run out this time, when I got the third hit with "great women in my life who influenced me" bit. No one seemed to think that it was odd that all the people who spoke were men. Or that it sounded oddly patronizing to hear a bunch of men tell a room full of women that they contribute to the diversity of the organization just by being women. Anyway, the bingo ended. I mean the speeches ended and we were allowed to go eat.
Conversation at the round tables revolved around varied topics. Some women complained that none of their family members had remembered women's day. I winced because if it hadn't been for the outlook reminder, I wouldn't have remembered either. Some other women made the rather astute observation that a "father-daughter" relationship is very special. I winced again because until that moment I had considered all the relationships with my family members very special. Some men gave emotional accounts of how their daughters had changed their perspectives. I winced for the third time because I realized that perhaps the only way to get men to treat women as human beings was to force a daughter on them. By the time the conversation reached the hypothesis that women were not role models for daughters anymore because they don't stay at home and take care of their children like the women of yore, I had had enough and wandered off in search of dessert. My facial muscles were starting to twitch and ache with all the wincing I was doing. By the way, dessert wasn't anything to write home about either. So all in all, a disappointing end to a disappointing afternoon. To top it off, I had eaten too much, in keeping with what is expected of one in a buffet, and it made me sleepy and cranky.
On a serious note, I understand and agree with the spirit of the whole thing. It is an attempt by the international community to recognize women as a largely oppressed and marginalized group and to give legitimacy to the ongoing struggle to end discrimination and violence against women. Either that or just an attempt by the Hallmarks and Archies of the world to sell unwanted stuff to otherwise unwilling people. But for me, this day has come to resemble a constant reminder that even in my place of work, I am first a woman and then an employee. I strive very hard, day after day to make sure that my gender plays no role in my work and my interaction with colleagues. I persevere against gargantuan odds to be treated the same way as my male colleagues, no exceptions, no special considerations and no biases or prejudices. And this one day shatters all of my efforts. I come back from lunch only to be met with sniggers and snide comments about the unfairness of this day and the need for a "men's day" to even things out. My repartee of how everyday is in fact "men's day" felt inadequate somehow.
posted by Anu at 11:26 AM
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